Victim Vs. Creator Essay

The difference between a victim and a creator is their mindset. "A mindset is a collection of

beliefs and attitudes" (Downing 2-1a). A victim has a mindset where to them anything and

everything that is bad happens, it is not their fault and it's ruining their life. While the creator

mindset is where even though these bad things are happening, they can and will triumph. A

victim never wants to take responsibility for their problems, they always think it's not their fault,

that they cannot do anything to make it better on themselves. On the other hand, creators do

everything in their power to fix the problem. They always take responsibility, and never think

that their life is ruined or bad. I choose to be a creator for many reasons. My reasons being,

because it opens more doors, it helps practice problem solving, and life tends to be much easier

when you work out your problems.

As said by David Mirman "A victim response seeks to find blame for a negative situation. A

victim response is generally unhelpful to reaching one's goals" (Mirman). In his blog post "Do

you think like a victim or a creator?" He tells a story about two students who did not have their

textbooks for class. The teacher told them to have the textbook the following class.

Unfortunately for the students, the bookstore sold out of that textbook. When the following class

came around, only one out of the two students succeeded in retrieving the textbook. When the

teacher asked the first student if they got their textbook, the student replied with "No" but then

continued to explain that it wasn't their fault and that they could not get the text because the

bookstore did not have any left. The teacher moved on to the second student and asked if they

got their textbook from the bookstore. The student replied with "No" but then explained to the

teacher that they called other bookstores from other colleges in the region. When they told they

student that they were also sold out, the student took to the internet and ordered the book online.

They paid for two day shipping which basically made the used textbook they got the price

equivalent of a brand new book. This student acted more like a creator. They did not let the

obstacle of the sold out bookstore get in the way of getting a textbook. While the other student

acted more like a victim by trying to push the blame on the bookstore instead of taking

responsibility.

I very easily become a victim in a high stress situation. I usually have some stress issues, I have

very bad anxiety and I tend to make things a whole lot bigger than they usually are. When I

registered for this semester, I was having some issues with financial aid. I went back every day

for two weeks trying to figure out why I was not approved for student loans. Come to find out, I

entered in my social security number wrong. So when I finally fixed that, I went back to finish

registering for FAFSA but then I had more work to do, like registering online and setting up

accounts. I repeatedly went back to ask questions but I always had to sit for almost an hour. I

was already stressed out due to the unneeded long process to register that when my parents

started to complain to me about how I was not registered for school yet. It made me angry and I

started to blame them for not going with me to help me register. I continuously told them that

everyone else's parents were with them helping them. I was so furious with my parents for not

helping me, that I didn't realize that the whole situation really was my fault. I even began to

blame the college for having such a confusing and unnecessarily long process for registration.

After my first excuse, more excuses started to flood out of my mouth. I truly made myself

believe that that problem was completely out of my control.

I believe that my boyfriend, Marshall is a creator. In all reality his whole family are creators, but

to be specific my boyfriend is a wonderful creator. He has broken both of his ankles, he's a

senior in high school, he is forced to do things he doesn't want to do, and he has dyslexia. As a

former senior I can really relate to the stress he's under when he's at school. He has to take two

history classes because he's behind in requirements for his advanced diploma. He's been taking

his time on homework, and not putting anything off. He's really been pushing to stay on track in

school this year. His parents have made him do a club for the past three years. He absolutely

hates this club, he's not a very social person so this club really makes him have to be social. In

order for him to push through this club, he tells himself that it is going to look great on his

college applications. His dyslexia sometimes makes writing assignments and reading in class

very difficult for him. Instead of blaming his parents for giving him dyslexia, or blaming the

teachers for making him do these assignments, he practices his reading and writing. When I first

met him, his spelling wasn't the greatest, but it was still understandable. Now he only has issues

with which spelling of a word is the correct one. For example "week" and "weak". He really

relies on the sounds of words for his spelling. For his two broken ankles, he was told by the

doctor that he would never be able to play sports. Now, about 5 years later he's doing martial arts

with ease. He never got frustrated because of his limits, and he practiced and practiced and

triumphed in his goals.

In order to be a creator, I need to stop stressing out. Like I mentioned earlier, I have anxiety that

causes me to blow things way out of proportion. I try very hard to be perfect for other people,

that when I fail, I turn it into the worst thing ever. I tend to set my goals too high, which makes

me stress out, and when I don't reach my goals I get very upset. This year I will be a creator by

setting smaller achievable goals, so it forces me not to stress out so much. I will get more

organized by utilizing things I can use to my disposal, such as my iphone or my ipad by setting

reminders on when homework's and quizzes are due. I will also pass my classes with an 80% or

higher by studying with people with my class, and asking for help when I need to. I will also

utilize things such as tutors and the school library to help me out.